When my daughter was 5-years old she told my husband that a family member was molesting her. I constantly relive that day wishing that it never happened. I remember sitting in the hospital waiting room, sitting with her through the rape exam. I remember her asking me to make it stop because it hurt. The next day we spent hours with the police telling them what our daughter had told us. Charges were filed and he was arrested. Now not only did we know what happened, so did everyone else. His wife who had no idea this was going on was getting phone calls saying that she was the one doing this to him. They acted like he was not to blame everyone else was. He was somehow innocent in their minds. His lawyer put off the trial for months. The day before we were actually going to go to trial he did end up pleading guilty. When we went to the sentencing hearing we were not only going to have to face him but his entire family. The presumptive sentence under Jessica’s law was 25 years to life. Because he had no criminal history he was given just under 4 years. 4 years in exchange for my daughters innocence. At 5 years old my daughter knew more about sex than I did at 13. I constantly live with the fear that even though we did everything that we possibly could, my daughter will grow up to resent me. If I could take all of this away believe me I would. I have learned through all of this that there is unfortunately more than one victim in cases like these. Parents are victims in different ways. You don’t know how to hold your own child for fear that someone will think something else is going on. Your relationship with your spouse becomes strained. I had to go on medication because I had panic attacks and depression. I had a hard time having a romantic relationship because everything related back to that day.
I beg all parents, do not give your child’s private areas nick names, tell them what it is. Always let them know who is allowed to even see down there and who is not. And always listen to them. If I hadn’t done these things I don’t think my daughter may have told us what was going on. Most parents still do not file police reports on sexual abuse. If we do not listen to our children and stand up for them then they have no one.