When I was 14 I met someone who changed my life. We were together for 6 years. By year 2 he was verbally abusive as well as emotionally. I thought nothing of it. I was so young. By year 3 after an argument in the car he slammed my head against the glass window. Told me to never raise my voice at him again then proceeded to push me out of the car. It was mid day and I had to return to school. Once the school found out they called the police. And hauled him off, disregarding my plea for them to forget I even said anything. The next day was the hardest day of my life. I was so scared to face my peers, as they proved to me I should have been. The first person said “why would you get him in trouble like that?”; I knew I had a lot of explaining to do, and so the excuses began. It only took a few lies for me to start believing them myself. It never got better. I thought telling him that he scared me would make him feel bad and not yell or get in my face in the future. Then he used it against me. The next time he got in my face yelling “are you scared yet?” as I sat in silence, starring at the ground. He would damage my car, leave me stranded, punch the walls closest to my face, and threaten suicide if I left. Then he got braver. He started grabbing me and tossing me around like a rag doll, leaving his finger prints bruised on my body. He picked me up and threw me from wall to wall until it knocked the wind out of me. When he got really angry he would put me in his car, go to a one lane freeway in the middle of nowhere on a cliff and speed 100 MPH and then turn the lights off. I would scream and beg to live and promise to never leave so the lights would come back on. I spent my 19th birthday locked in his house. He wouldn’t let me out. Getting thrown down the stairs was normal and being hit was part of the daily routine. Eventually sex wasn’t consensual anymore. Then on Valentines day I went somewhere without asking and when I returned we fought and it lead to him choking me. I was able to scream enough to wake my friend and she came in and helped break me free. We ran out the door and I stayed over at a friends, moved 4 hours away and never looked back. There are many girls that experience dating violence and don’t get taken seriously. But you aren’t alone; you don’t deserve to be hit or raped by the person you love. The recovery lasts a lifetime, but the abuse doesn’t have to.
Thank-you for your courage to share your story. your words are powerful and will help to make a difference in others lives. I wish you the best in your recovery and strongly admire your strength.