Shatter The Silence™

I am surviving this disease that you told me not to speak of.

For years, it has eaten away at everything inside me that was good.

It has hardened my heart, tourtured my conscience, and destroyed my trust.

You’ve stolen my innocense, my father’s pride, my first kiss.

You called it a mistake.

I call it rape.

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What does it mean to be a survivor?

I am one who has walked through fire

And back again with hidden wounds.

I’ve seen the darkest nights

Full of pain, consumed with shame.

I’ve been thankful for the brighter days When hope prevails.

Blocking out the years

Of hurtful memories.

To see these tears falling

Like they never fell before,

I ask, “Why?”

I thought I was

Stronger than my own convictions

That I could forget it all.

And yet,

I didn’t understand

What true healing meant

Until the light came through

Then I knew.

This happened July 13, 2008

MAN OF MY DREAMS

I was married at 28

to the man of my dreams,

He was wonderful,

and loving and was caring to me.

It was subtle at first,

Just little things changed,

Then before I new it

He was controlling and enraged.

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Thank you for whisking me off my feet.
Thank you for becoming my ballroom dancing partner.
Thank you for suggesting we should practice the fox trot in the lounge of a residence hall, because this was when our romantic feelings began.
Thank you for wanting to treat me like a princess but not really knowing how.
Thank you for showing me the excitement of passionate sex.
Thank you for spoiling me with romantic gifts and surprises.

Thank you for showing me your true colors. (more…)