Sexual Violence, Rape, and Abuse Survivor Stories

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21 Years Old in Unknown, Unknown

21 Years Old in Unknown, Unknown | #WeShatterSilence | Let This Story Be Heard By Clicking Share

I was 19 when this happened to me. I was at my friend, Mike’s, house watching a movie. While I was watching the movie, he leaned in & kissed me.

I didn’t know what to do, so I kissed him back. He tries to kiss me again, but I refuse & tell him I’m just there to watch the movie. “Oh, come on! I know you want it”, he says as he starts kissing me more & I’m telling him to stop. Then he starts kissing me “passionately” & touching me in private areas under my clothes.

Before I can yell at him, he’s on top of me – holding me down as he tears my clothes off of me. “Don’t worry, I know how to do a girl right”, he says as he takes his pants off. In that brief moment he’s not on top of me, I try to run out the door – even though I’m half-naked.

He grabs me by the shoulders, screams, “What the ****, Katherine? I thought you loved me?!?? You kissed me back, didn’t you?!?” & then throws me down onto the couch. He punches me in the face & wraps his hands around my throat. He gets back on top of me, covers my mouth, & then fingers me with his other hand. Every time I scream, he tells me that I “like what he’s doing” or that I’m “enjoying it”. Then, he ‘actually’ rapes me (forcible sexual intercourse).

When he’s done, he spits in my face, puts his clothes back on. He calls me a “dirty little wh*re” as he leaves me there – crying & in the fetal position. After he’s gone for a few minutes, I hurry & put my clothes back on & ran out of there as fast as I could.

I never talked to him again after that. I drove myself home & took an extremely hot shower to try & clean himself off of me. I didn’t go to a hospital because I was terrified that he would somehow come after me & rape me again.

I did tell the bishop of my church about it & he (the bishop) asked me a bunch of sexual questions, probably to find out if it was “really rape”.

He kept asking me things like, “Were you wet?” “

Did you get s*xually aroused?”

“What clothes were you wearing?”

“Where did he touch you?”

“Did he use his p*nis?”

“Did he do/use other things to arouse you?”

“What position were you in when he penetrated you?” … I was completely appalled by that & stopped going to church because of it.

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22 Years Old in Mount Pleasant, SC

22 Years Old in Mount Pleasant, SC | #WeShatterSilence | Let This Story Be Heard By Clicking Share

I met Justin in Alcoholics Anonymous, I was 19 years old at the time. He was in his mid thirties. At first he showered me with positive attention, attention I wasn’t getting at home. While it seemed nice in the beginning, looking back I realize he was grooming me. Things progressed very quickly in our “relationship.” Lovely texts soon became demands for sexual pictures and videos. He would force me to do these things for him through coercion and manipulation. If I didn’t give him what he wanted, he would just ignore me or make me feel bad about myself.

We didn’t just have an online “relationship” though. We eventually met up when I went away for college. He bought a cheap motel room for the night and raped me while I was heavily under the influence of drugs. Over the course of our time together, he raped me on three different occasions, filming two of the rapes.

I was only able to get away from him when I started dating my now deceased fiancé Kyle. During the course of that relationship, I found out that Justin had shown the videos of my rapes to other men in AA. I found out about this through a friend who also attended the fellowship. Justin was not my only rapist, but he was my first attacker. He took my virginity, self esteem, and self worth. I feel very angry and stupid to this day, especially since he got away with everything.

Even though he took so much from me, I have to remember that I’m a survivor. I just fell victim to a predator.

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21 Years Old in Toronto, ON

21 Years Old in Toronto, ON | #WeShatterSilence | Let This Story Be Heard By Clicking Share

It was my second summer as a camp counselor and I had a crush on a guy that I was working with. We would have days off and he invited me to come to a cottage with a couple of friends. Little did I know I was the only girl who went. I felt the pressure to impress him and the only way I knew how to do that at 16 years old was to interest him sexually. But when it was about to happen, I said I didn’t want it anymore. He said he already had the condom on so that it wasn’t fair. After it happened, he laughed at me and left the room. I had to sleep there that night because I had no where else to go. The next morning we all drove back to camp and he made me hug him before I left. I’m writing this for all the other young women out there who feel the pressure to engage in sexual activities with someone in order to get their attention.

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Anonymous Years Old in Anonymous

Anonymous Years Old in Anonymous | #WeShatterSilence | Let This Story Be Heard By Clicking Share

He told me he only wanted to sleep and that we could do all the “cute stuff” in the morning. He told me I could leave whenever I wanted to. I made the mistake of believing him. Boy was I wrong. He told me to be daddy’s good girl. I guess an injured shoulder and rape taught be to be a good little girl.

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33 Years Old in Philadelphia, PA

33 Years Old in Philadelphia, PA | #WeShatterSilence | Let This Story Be Heard By Clicking Share

“We both know all the truth I can tell”
I can’t forget
My mind won’t let me
I’m reminded when I least expect it
I can close my eyes and it’s like I’m there
And I’m still that scared little girl
Back of the car
Whispering to your friend
Was this your plan?
You were so overpowering…I froze
This isn’t how I imagined it to be
But I let this go
I was only 14
We were drinking
I couldn’t even stand
You picked me up and threw me over your shoulders
Next thing I knew
I was Face down, the room spinning
I didn’t say yes, I couldn’t
What you tried was wrong
I will not let that almost be my last time
I would not even let that be a memory for so long
I was only 15
Because I loved you
I let it go and time moved forward
We were arguing, I said no, I didn’t want to
You backed me into the corner
I was crying but you made me do it
You were wrong
Others saw my tears that night but
I protected you and didn’t speak up
Because I loved you
I let it go and Time moved forward
It wasn’t a good night, we were arguing, we were disconnecting
I sat on the oor and hugged my knees
I said no
I didn’t want to
You pushed me with force
My head hit the hard oor
I grabbed my head and sobbed
You took what you wanted
I turned my head as far away and stared at the doorway. I wanted someone to come
through and stop it
Saying no wasn’t enough. I wanted to scream.
Instead I cried and froze
You were wrong in what you did
I was only 16
As if nothing happened
You still wanted things I didn’t
You got angry
And told me to get the fuck out
I felt so alone
I still could not speak up
You told me you loved me
You tricked me to still get what u wanted
You left me scared and alone in the middle of the night
I walked home in the dark alone and vulnerable
It was nally over…I thought
Time went on
I moved on with someone new
But then You saw me…you grabbed me inappropriately
I turned and pushed you away
You grabbed me again below the waist and this time pulled me towards you
I wasn’t yours, I never was
You were wrong
I was only 17
Because I loved you, I let you live your life without consequence
My life was forever changed.
It’s not over for me.
I don’t hate you but I don’t forgive you
A decade later you let my voice be heard
From this I felt a strength I’ve never known
I said everything I wanted to say and pleaded with tears in my eyes for you to never
do this to anyone else
You said you loved me and that you were sorry
You validated me and this helped
But the pain stays
The tears still ow
As I become a distant memory for you
Your actions can never be undone
We both know the truth
Those scars will forever be with me
Those Nights haunt me with ashbacks
You have the power.
You have the control.
You took my ability to say no and to have control over my own body.
I can’t get that back.
I am a victim
This Has shaped who I am
This has impact on my present and future
But I am strong
I can endure
But I can’t forget
Rape is forever
I want to forgive you someday but 17 years later I’m still not ready
….Somethings only God can forgive

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