When i was 5 my mom got married to this guy. He was cool until one day my mom finally got a job. After that my life changed forever. I have 5 older brothers who were living with us at the time he told them to go in our room to play, so they did. I thought he was talking to me too so i followed my brothers when he grabbed me by the arm and told me to sit on the couch. I thought i had done something wrong but it turns out my body was in trouble . He made me lay down on the couch and used his fingers first then moved from there. He told me not to tell anyone or he would do it harder next time. this continued til i was 8. I ended up telling my aunt and she called my mom at work. i told her what had been happening to me. he went to jail and doctors did all these tests on me. i had to testify in court which was the hardest thing i ever had to do because the whole time he was starring at me. so if something has happened to you or your loved one don’t be silent because it will just get worse if you don’t say something.
Well, when I was born, my mom was married to an abusive man who constantly hit her and told us that he was going to kill all of us. When I turned about 5, he started to molest me when my mom was gone. I didn’t understand what it was but it felt gross.When I turned 6, he started to rape me. I thought I was being punished for being bad. As I got older it got worse, but after my 2 brothers and 1 sister were born, mom finally left him. I felt dirty and insecure for years, but finally told my counselor. It felt SOO good! I Have been going to groups and now am very active in anything to make it safe.
One summer I went to my grandparents house expecting a wonderful, funfilled summer. What I got was a disgusting memory and feelings that I was a worthless person that would haunt me for years. I was about 8 or 9 years old. I was in my Aunt’s bedroom, on the floor sleeping. I heard my grandpa open the door and say my name quietly, as if he didn’t really want me to hear him. I heard him. I don’t know why, but I was always afraid of my grandfather, so I stiffened up and pretended like I had heard nothing and was still asleep. I heard his boots coming closer to me, his breathing was unusually loud. I had my eyes open just enough so I could see him but it still looked like I was asleep. He got down on his knees and blew in my ear. It sent shivers up my spine. He stroked my hair and back, and after a few minutes of that got on top of me. I will never forget how truly afraid I became at that moment. He began moving himself up and down, back and fourth on me. I felt sickened. I wanted to scream, but it was if I could not move or speak because I was so afraid. After a few minutes of him rubbing himself on me and breathing loudly in my ear, I “woke up”; and tried to move. He noticed me moving and quickly got up off me. He just said he was trying to wake me up and walked out of the room like he had done nothing wrong. I told no one. I honestly don’t know why. Maybe fear or denial. But it didn’t pay, my keeping quiet. Because the next summer something similar happened. I came from the back of the house, going into the kitchen. I saw my grandpa in his maroon chair, watching an old western show. I avoided eye contact, as usual. I was deathly afraid of him ever sience the last summer. He asked me to come and sit on his lap. Not wanting to disobey an elder, I did as I was told. He then wrapped his arms around me, pulled me closer to him, and started blowing in my ear. I automatically had flashbacks of the past incident and began to feel sick. After a minute or two of that he began licking my ear, again breathing hard and fast. I could not take it anymore at that point. I pulled myself off of him and went outside. That night I was afraid to sleep out in the living room on the couch like usual so I asked my Aunt if I could sleep in her room. She asked me why, and I told her what my grandpa did earlier that day. I was astonished that she didn’t at all seemed suprised. She just said okay, sleep in here. That was it. I thought for sure she would tell my grandma or my parents, but she didn’t. And that was it. I still went there every summer. I just slept in my Aunt’s room. He died a few years later, and it was a huge relief to me that I didn’t have to be afraid of him anymore. Just a month ago I worked up the courage to tell my mom what my grandpa did to me all those years ago. She seemed suprised, yet not. She said that my Aunt “April,” the one who’s room I had been sleeping in, told her when she was a kid to be careful around him because he had “done stuff” to their other sister, “Maria.” I didn’t get a chance to ask her myself about it though, because she died at a young age of lukemia. I still haven’t fully gotten over those awful and haunting experiences, but I am working on overcoming my feelings of guilt and worthlessness. And for everyone out there who has experienced a trauma like sexual harrassment, sexual abuse, date rape, or the like, I am truly sorry. But please know that it is not your fault, and you cannot let the scum who did that to you ruin your life. Please have the courage to speak up and be heard. Don’t be stupid like I was and wait until it’t too late for anything to be done about it. But even though I was stupid for not telling anyone until it was too late, I learned from it. That’s why I am sharing my story now. Again, please speak up and be heard. It is definitely the right thing to do. No matter who did it to you, a friend, relative, employer, teacher or anyone else. SPEAK UP!!
I have been sexually abused in my lifetime and taken advantage enough times. My 2nd oldest brother sexually molested me when i was 9 & 10 years old. It would of continued if i didn’t start to feel scared more & more often. My parents only found out about it Christmas night of 2004, and im not saying theyre bad parents, but they did nothing. They cried & blamed themselves and when my 2 other brothers confronted the one, he denyed it all. And no punishment was brought against him and he still lives here. I will never forgive him for it but i’ve been trying to forget about it. As a direct effect in my opinion, i started having sex when i was 14. I didn’t ever sleep around with anyone. They all meant something & promised me they wouldn’t hurt me, typical guy’s lies. But i think i was forced to grow up and be more mature. I’ve been thinking about going to meetings for any of this plus the more secrets i consume to myself. I live with it and have survived it so far.
Unfortunately I have been a victim of sexual violence more than once. all throughout my life i have had to deal with such things. it started when i was 5. i was raped by a family friend more than once. It is something that was extremely painful and becuase of that i did not tell anyone till 10 years later. then at the age of 10, i was sexualy harassed by a fellow peer at school. then again at 12 another family friend molested me in my own home. it took me years to overcome the emotional wounds of these experiences, but i did. and becuase of my experiences i have become a stronger person. and i am now determined to speak out against sexual violence through organizations like this and help other people who have been through the same thing. god bless everyone associated with this sight, and let’s continue to “shatter the silence!”
I don’t know how old I was, or when it happen. All I know is who did it, where it happen, and how it had happen. I was barely a child, but I was old enough to be able to remember memories. I had innocence. I liked Minnie Mouse and Disney movies.
My own Dad pinned me to the ground outside of my bathroom and room. I remember the feel of the carpet against my skin. He slid down my pants, and raped me there despite my cries and how I begged for him to stop. I can remember his deep voice telling me not to tell anyone, especially my Mom. I nodded, and tried to forget about it. I think it might of happen again–but my mind is blurry on that.
My Dad verbal and physically abuses me as well. He sexual abuses me in a way with calling me ‘sexy’ and ‘beautiful’ when I am alone with him. He grabs my wrist so tight when he talks to me, and scream at me.
During a summer, I have a strong suspicion that my Aunt and Uncle sexual assaulted me. I’ve been having flashbacks about that for awhile now.
A teacher of mine molested me when I was in 5th grade, and followed my parents by car.
The first person I told was my ex-boyfriend, who is also a best friend of mine. But I don’t know how much he cares about me right now.
my dad left my mom when he found out she was pregnant, so since i could remember we had lived with my grandparents while my mom finished law school. a few years before i was born, my unlcle and his wife died in a car wreck and left their son “Kevin” in my moms care. i had grown up with him and he was like a brother to me. one day when i was five he took me into his room and told me we were going to play video games. however, that wasnt the case. instead he pushed me on the bed and told me that if i made a sound or told anyone, he would hurt my mom and my grandparents would no longer love me. this continued for about three more years. although we had moved out of my grandparents after i turned six, we still visited occasionally and on those occasions he would do it again. i didnt tell because i was afraid that my mom wouldnt love me anymore. my family is strongly catholic and abstinence was a big subject. it wasnt untill a year ago, when i was thirteen that my cousin, “Samantha” told my aunt that she thought she had seen him do stuff to me. my mom talked to me about it and asked me questions. when she brought it up i started crying, it was finally over. she wasnt mad, and she wasnt disapointed. i have been getting counceling for the past year now.
It has taken me nearly nine years to openly say it: I was raped when I was eight years old. It was my English teacher. I paid no heed to the nasty rumours that followed the man: “they say he likes sixth-grade girls” and so forth. One day, I’d forgotten my schoolbooks in the classroom, so I went to get them. There he was. He knocked me to the floor, covered my mouth, told me he’d kill my family if I ever told anyone. I still remember when he left me in the classroom. My panties were soaked in blood, that’s how hard he’d thrusted. I threw them as soon as I got home. It was like that all fourth grade. Soon after the first encounter, I started dreading school. I threw up in the mornings. Men couldn’t be near me because I’d start screaming and crying. He was dismissed at the end of the term. But … when I was a mere month before turning fifteen, he tracked me down and raped me again. This time, he brought “friends” and threatened to kill my father – if I was submissive, it’s only because he was pointing a gun at his temple. He isn’t in prison, but I now know he has no control over me. Most men don’t see me as only flesh and a hole where to ram it in, and I know that. I’m not disgusted by my body or by myself anymore. Counseling has helped so much, and I’m a volunteer at a local rape victims’ support group. So you see, things can have if not a happy ending, a refreshing and peaceful start after Hell is over.
I have been profoundly affected by the molestation that one of my cousins and also my brother experienced when they were children. My uncle, his heroin, and his heroin buddies all molested my cousin several times when she was only 5. My brother was molested by a stranger when he was only 6. I can see how their lives were affected by these men and it is overwhelming to me. I guess that’s why I became a social worker, and why I will be attending TBTN vigil in April. I wish all survivors and the people who love them power in their continuous healing.
I was sexually abused by my uncle for seven years. I was also date-raped when I was 14, and again when I was 15. The silence is what keeps this from happening over and over again. I won’t be a victim anymore.