I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend when I was fourteen. I don’t remember much and I guess I might have blacked out from fear. My two friends found out the next day. One moved and one doesn’t talk to me anymore. If it weren’t for the support of one good male friend. I don’t know how I would be able to control my anger. And who knows my ex might have tried to manipulate me again. I didn’t press charges. I’m afraid I’d be called a liar. My school did nothing. He wasn’t allowed near me but when they saw him try to hug me, they just stood there while I stood scared. I won’t be scared anymore.
My story happened about 6 months ago: I went out with this guy for about a year. About six months into our relationship, he got to be sort of controlling. As we went “on and off,” continuously breaking up and getting back together, he just got more controlling. He would constantly put me down, and my friends could see it. They told me what they thought of him, but I wouldn’t be swayed. I refused to see any bad in him. After we went out only two months, we had sex. I was convinced I was in love. I would do anything for him, and he knew it. Then everything turned sexual for him. I can still feel him carressing me “down there” in a public swimming pool. I felt so dirty, but I refused to admit I was wrong about him. All he wanted to do was have sex, and I didn’t. Then, one day, he was at my house, as usual, and we had fought, again, because I wasn’t “in the mood.” He finally gave up and we layed on my bed watching tv. I was soon half asleep. He wispered my name, but I was too tired to ans!wer. I just figured he wanted to ask me to have sex again or something, and I didn’t feel like dealing with that. So I layed still. He began to caress my body. By then I was used to that, as he “touched” me often, but never for long. He then got on top of me, moved my shorts aside, and penetrated. I froze in shock. How disgusting was he that he would have sex with an unconcious person? I began to move as though I was “waking up,” but he didn’t stop. I jumped. Who was this man on top of me? It couldn’t be the man I loved, could it? But it was. I began to fight him off of me, but with no prevail.He was much stronger than me, I was left defenseless. After I struggled for a few seconds, he stopped, pulled me to him, and held me. I just sat there and cried. What was all this? He said to me, “Sshh. It’s okay. You know I’d never hurt you. I love you, and you love me too.” I was in shock. I didn’t tell anyone. It happened again. He seemed relentless. We b!roke up. I turned to “self-mutilation” and anorexia, which caused me to lose 20 pounds (I was five foot seven and weighed 135lbs at the time-I went down to 115lbs and was horribly thin). My friends were worried and took me to the school counselor. But no matter what, I wouldn’t admit it was my ex’s fault. It was mine. After months of going back out with him and breaking up time and again, I decided to end it. Even after being without him for a while, I had nightmares every night, and still do. But after a while I couldn’t take it anymore. I told my closest friends. They were not suprised, but they didn’t say it. They held me as I cried. He still has no idea that I told anyone. Some of my friends are now urging me to tell an adult, but I’m scared to find out what he would do if he found out. I pray to God everyday to help me through this. Slowly I can feel my voice again.
It started when I was twelve. I went over to this guys house to hang out. He brought me to his bedroom and started making sexual advances on me. I told him to stop, and he got angry, and ended up beating and raping me. That was in seventh grade. In eighth grade, my boyfriend sexually abused me many times. Because of what had happened to me before, I was confused and it took me a long time to end the relationship. Then in ninth grade, I was abused again, this time by an older guy. All this time flashbacks and nightmares kept reapeating themselves. Then one day I couldn’t stand it any more, and I tried to commit suicide. My social worker found me and stopped me. He brought me to Forest View Psychiatric Hospital. That was a few months ago, and im doing better now. Today is January 26, and i was baptised last night. I still struggle with seeing them every day at school, but it’s easier now. I recently told my best friend and she has been very supportive. My social worker is now one of my best friends and he has helped me so much. He is the only reason im still alive.My advice to everyone is to get a stuffed animal. they are safe and very huggable and lovable. you can cry and tell them everything. they will listen. i have a stuffed dog named Hugs that my social worker gave me, and I can’t sleep without him.
I was sexually abused by my uncle for seven years. I was also date-raped when I was 14, and again when I was 15. The silence is what keeps this from happening over and over again. I won’t be a victim anymore.
When I was 15 I was at a friend’s house with a group of girls and we had been drinking and then decided to invite some senoir guys over (we were sophomores). They came and as a joke my friend promised one of them that I would make out with one of them. They came and sold us some alcohol at a low price. I made out and did a little more with one of the boys. Then I decided I was done and went in a sleeping bag to show everyone I was done partying. Then the other guy “Jordan” came to me, unzipped the sleeping bag, climbed on top of me, and zipped it back up. I was trapped. I had not had that much to drink, and reflecting on the situation I believe the liquor the boys sold us had *something* in it. At the time I also felt it was my fault was “Jordan” was doing to me because I had messed around with his friend. I kept begging him to stop, he would merely laugh and continue. I was so afraid someone would notice what was going on so I stayed quiet. I kept falling asleep even though I was trying my hardest not to. Afterwards I blamed myself thinking I had brought it upon myself until I talked to a friend that had been there that night and she confided in me that “Jordan” had done something similar to her months earlier. I wish I had done something about it and I pray that he does not hurt any more girls. I feel sick thinking about him hurting someone else and I wish I had told someone sooner!
I was in 2nd grade when I was sexually abused by my neighbors son. He was 15 to 16 at the time and I was 7. I looked up to him as a role model. He taught me how to throw a baseball and gave me my first glove. He fondled me and forced me to perform oral sex. I blocked it out for 10 years and I have been haunted by it ever since I started to remember what happened. I have children of my own now and I am very overprotective of them. I know where Tino(the guy who abused me)lives, I know his phone # and I want justice. But I have no source to turn to for help. I dont know how you could ever harm a child. Every spring the feeling of anger and helplessness consumes me as I see my children playing in the yard.
When I was young, in third or fourth grade, I went to the doctor. I honestly can’t remember if the doctor was a man or a woman, but I remember that (s)he sexual abused me. My parents were not in the room for some reason. I don’t remember the extent of what happened, only the beginning of it. Somehow, I think it was a female doctor, but again, I’m not sure. Aside from this, I’ve told one person. When I was 15 or 16 I was sexually abused by my dad, he didn’t rape me, and it only happened once. I never told anyone but a few close friends. Never my best friend, she’d have taken action. I have an OK relationship with my dad now, I see it pains him to remember it whenever we’re around each other. A few months ago I took my girlfriend to see her friends and family in her hometown, and one of her friends got her high and tried to rape her. He molested her and by the time I got to where they were I could see that she was terrified. It was pretty terrifying for me as well, getting her out of there. Telling him no and pulling her away from him. She was so high she could barely function. She made the decision to do drugs, but she never made the decision to be a sex toy. There was another girl there, and after I took my girlfriend away from the situation and got her sobered up, we went back for her. I wish we’d gotten there sooner, but we managed to get her out too. It was the worst of three similar instances. It was discouraging to me because I felt that if I had been a guy, or it had been a boyfriend there instead of her girlfriend, those guys would have been hesitant to try anything. We’re just friends now for other reasons, but I know she still thinks what happened was her fault. It wasn’t and I’ve told her so. She made a bad decision by getting high, but she didn’t deserve what happened to her. It still scares me whenever I date that I won’t be able to protect my girlfriend or myself because I’m a woman.